Big Gay Closet

Speaking to Attitude magazine, he said: “The relationship I have with my mother is amazing but it has grown stronger and stronger.

“The day my mother asked me if I was gay, she asked me if I was in love with a man or a woman. Oh God. For this woman to make it easier for me… this is really cool.

“But she struggled with it. She went there. She opened that door. That’s a mother’s love. Then she hurt. She said: ‘I love you, my son, I’m so happy for you. Bring it on. I’m right behind you.’

“And then, suddenly, I think she thought ‘Oh my god, it’s Kiki [his family nickname]. It’s his career.’ I’m sure every mother reacts to this in different ways.”

via Ricky Martin: My mother helped me come out – Pink News.

Does it matter more if he comes out, or if you do?

“There’s the assumption among gay people that if only this famous person came out, things would be better — and that’s never been the case,” said Eric Marcus, a chronicler of gay social issues, whose books on the subject include “Making History: The Struggle for Gay and Lesbian Equal Rights, 1945-1990.”

“The most significant effort any of us can make in moving the ball forward in terms of promoting awareness and acceptance of this issue is for those of us who are gay to come out to those closest to us,” he said. “It isn’t ultimately the celebrity that changes people’s minds, or the politician. It’s the individual, one on one.”

The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation conducted a survey in late 2008 that looked at the reasons behind society’s evolving tolerance for gay people. It found that the reason cited most frequently by people who reported having more favorable views — by far — was knowing someone who is gay.

Seventy-nine percent of the survey’s respondents said that knowing someone who is gay contributed to their more positive opinions, compared with 34 percent who said seeing gay characters on television was a factor.
from the New York Times

Happy Chocolate Day to you all!

As many of you know, I’ve been in London for the past week, and if things seem like they’ve been a bit slow around here, it’s because I’ve been very very busy seeing amazing people and having more fun than is probably legal.

But, this week should be back to more regular posts, and saying that, we’ve had some really fun stuff happen last week.

To recap!

I started the week explaining that coming out is never boring, and therefore your story is definitely interesting. So, write your story and send it to me

We all sat around and remembered Neil Patrick Harris coming out. I called him Doogie, yes I did.

Then, all Hell broke loose when Ricky Martin — yes, that Ricky Martin — blogged his way out of the closet. It was a big deal. And yeah, I know Twitter was full of “water = wet” comments, but coming out is always a big deal, and in Latin America it still can be a bit of a scandal. So, well done, Ricky.

And then, a real little You Tube find, was Lt. Dan Choi’s personal coming out story. I just thought that was neat.

This was followed up by an original coming out story called “Moms Say the Darndest Things”, which was really popular, and well read. My favourite part of this blog is the original coming out stories. I’m going to do my best to increase the number of those that we publish.

Right, and after that, I wrote a completely outlandish April Fools’ Day post about the adorkable Rachel Maddow that made no sense whatsoever and a bunch of you believed it. Not only that but some people thought it was a bit too much, so it went in the bin, and I explained it all here.

I am theorising that all of you who believed it lost your ability to think critically when Dr. Maddow became the subject of discussion. Um, discuss.

And finally, Anna Paquin, who plays sweet but fierce Sookie Stackhouse in the TV vampire drama, True Blood, came out as bisexual and came out fighting for the rest of us. Need more reasons to love her? Really?

Looking forward to bringing some great stories to you next week, but we need stories too! I know loads of you out there have had fantastic journeys to get where you are right now, and all I ask is a snippet of that to share with the world.

Thank you all for hanging around in the Big Gay Closet, it’s been neat and fun (and stuff).

This morning, I decided for Big Gay Closet’s first April Fool to write up a ridiculous post that would celebrate both the day that’s in it, and the birthday of someone we at Big Gay Closet quite admire, Rachel Maddow.

A lot of people liked it (it was  more popular than the Ricky Martin coming out news item), some even believed it (!) but some weren’t happy and because of that I’ve decided (after much thinking about it) to remove the story from the site.

April Fools’ Day is over, so no harm anyway, and it does upset me if people find anything on this website offensive, because it is supposed to be a safe space for genuine reflection and sharing.

If anyone, at any time finds something on this website offensive please — by all means — email me at CanuckJacq@gmail.com. If further discussion is warranted, my phone number will be forthcoming.  I do take any criticisms of the site on board, and opening up the discussion will help in ensuring Big Gay Closet remains a safe and helpful space in the months and years to come.

Thank you so much for reading and contributing, and again — my most earnest apologies to anyone who took offense to our joke. I assure you it was not intended.

In the meantime, please have a read of our most recent coming out story: the beautifully written “Moms say the darndest things“.

What will happen from now on? It doesn’t matter. I can only focus on what’s happening to me in this moment. The word “happiness” takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution.

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.

via Ricky Martin Music.

Ricky Martin has come out! I suppose Barbara Walters can start feeling a little less guilty about the interview she did a while back.

She said:

“In 2000, I pushed Ricky Martin very hard to admit if he was gay or not, and the way he refused to do it made everyone decide that he was,” Walters tells The Star. “A lot of people say that destroyed his career, and when I think back on it now I feel it was an inappropriate question.”

via Walters Regrets Ricky Martin Question | News | Advocate.com.

What do you think? Is it anyone’s business? Read some of the comments on the Advocate site — some people seem to think we all should have the right to know any famous gay. Others think it’s totally his business.

“In 2000, I pushed Ricky Martin very hard to admit if he was gay or not, and the way he refused to do it made everyone decide that he was,” Walters tells The Star. “A lot of people say that destroyed his career, and when I think back on it now I feel it was an inappropriate question.”

via Walters Regrets Ricky Martin Question | News | Advocate.com.