Big Gay Closet

I’m sure plenty of you have seen the news reports of the suicides in America this week.

Some of you may even have seen what Dan Savage has been up to with his “It Gets Better” project. It’s simple and brilliant.

He’s called on gays to tell their stories on YouTube to reassure gay teens that life does get better after school. It’s really taken off!

I know some of you are working on your own vids. I want links, people.

I’m also going to go through some of the videos and pick out some to blog.

To begin, I’ll include Michael Urie‘s video:

There will be more to come!

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He’s not trying to keep it a secret, he said it on Chelsea Lately and allowed Ryan to big him up for it at the GLAAD awards thing etc, but he does not actively volunteer the discussion without being prompted by the interviewer and even then, he doesn’t expand much on it nor does he invite further questioning. He does tend to keep those discussions steered towards his character rather than himself. Now this doesn’t bother me one bit and I actually quite respect him for it because I understand he would want to focus on his new career he’s been dreaming about his whole life rather than becoming a poster child for a cause. He’s still very young and very green and it’s not his responsibility to represent every member of a very diverse community, but that has not stopped some people from complaining about it and interpreting it as a lack of pride or a failure of his responsibility to the gay community.

by Esme via Glee – How important is sexuality? – Glee Forum. The Fansite and Forum for FOX’s Glee.*

While the initial question was very on-topic, the discussion has gone to interesting places, discussing Mika, Michael Urie, Neil Patrick Harris, T.R. Knight.

Is it every famous gay’s responsibility to represent us loud and proud? I’d say no, but when some of them (and I’m talking the older, settled, comfortable queers here) dismiss their influence and ability to motivate the community, I’m saddened by how little they want to be seen as a representative of the community. And I always burst with admiration for those who do decide to step forward.

*I found the discussion because they linked to the post about Mika. Thanks guys!

We already saw him kiss a boy, but this week we were treated to his disclosure — first to grown-up gay friend Marc St. James and then to the rest of his family.

Sadly the show is at the end of its days. A more-than-disappointing 3rd season spelled poor ratings and Ugly Betty has been cancelled. The worst part of all of this is that, post-cancellation, Ugly Betty’s writers and actors started churning out the awesome.

Season 4 has been stellar and those of us who stuck with the show inexplicably throughout season 3 are now devastated to see the end of the stories and characters who have come so far in the last year.

I can’t stop raving about the coming out plot. From the day Justin declared that he wasn’t gay, I was enthralled. No good coming out story can go smoothly, and while Justin isn’t dealing with a judgemental family, he still has the same worries we all had.

For a young actor, Mark Indelicato has done an incredible job portraying Justin’s story, and his Justin Suarez and Michael Urie‘s Marc St. James have become two of the most popular characters as their friendship has developed.

If you haven’t been watching, do yourself a favour and get the season 4 DVD box set when it comes out.

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• Ugly Betty’s Justin kissed a girl… (lezgetreal.com)

Would you cast them to kiss a boy?

There are a lot of out gay people in the public eye.

I mean, just off the top of my head (and I’m no pop culture guru), I was able to name just under 30.

Now, when I was reading Michael Urie’s interview in The Advocate, one thing he said struck me. And I’m paraphrasing here, but he basically said that being out can negatively affect your chances of getting that romantic lead role — that if people know that you are not straight, that you are unlikely to be cast as straight. Please note, I’m pretty sure that doesn’t apply to gay characters, who can be played by anyone willing to do so.

He also pointed out that for some people it would be more of an issue than for others. Say, for instance if George Clooney turned out to be gay. Just by virtue of how hyper masculine he is, he gets a lot of romantic lead roles. But, Michael Urie says that if he came out as loving the dudes, that kind of work would dry up.

My question is: is this the same thing for lesbians? I’m thinking it might not be.

Personally, I can’t see Portia deRossi having trouble being cast as the romantic lead, even if she is married to Ellen. I think there’s a really important reason why lesbians might not face the same difficulties.

Nevermind how I know this, but a popular porn site lists videos of women having sex with other women under “straight”. Only men having sex with men is under “gay”. There is no “lesbian” category.

A man who has sex with men is not really ever able to be considered straight again. Because of perceptions of male sexuality, once a man has slept with another man, he is  “gay”.

However, a woman having sex with another woman is often perceived as no more than titillation, or an experiment and transitory. Lesbianism lacks the permanence that male homosexuality has in the public consciousness.

So, while lesbians may have it easier in coming out and in the resulting casting decisions, it could be because our society as a whole does not give them same kind of legitimacy to lesbianism as a sexual identity as it does to male homosexuality.

What do you think?

via The Not So Ugly Truth | People | Advocate.com.

“I’ve never been in,” Urie responds today. “I’ve never said I was straight, and I’m not saying I’m gay now. I never lie, and I’ve never shied away from the topic. I’ve certainly chosen through my work to do things that promote the rights of LGBTQ people. I am not a hypocrite—certainly not now.”

…

When asked what letter in LGBTQ he identifies himself, Urie says Q, for queer.

In honour of the incredible episode of Ugly Betty that aired last night and featured an awards-calibre scene between Michael Urie’s Marc St James and Mark Indelicato’s Justin Suarez, I thought we’d feature Urie’s February interview with The Advocate Magazine.

While there had been suspicion that the Julliard graduate was not entirely straight, he had played his cards close to his chest earlier in his career.

He explains:

“It’s a business of perception. My being perceived as queer is likely not going to affect the jobs I get, but with certain people it might. Coming out can ruin your career. My career is not based on people believing me with a woman. If it was, I’d be in trouble. If George Clooney came out, he’d be in trouble. Suddenly people would say, ‘Wait, he doesn’t like what I see him doing? Now I don’t believe it.’ When you have 20 people who have to agree to cast somebody in a role, a little thing like that could be a really big thing to them.”

… but didn’t like it.

“It was better in my head,” Justin says, before being kissed (to greater effect) by his friend Austin.

Sometimes I feel like I’m a gay man trapped in a lesbian’s body.  Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lesbian there too; I have plenty of room. But this is one of my gay man moments, and I’m falling in love with Michael Urie (not to mention all the writers at Ugly Betty).

It seems like only yesterday that Justin denied he was gay. Now of course, you can’t be gay without having denied it at least once. Even so, the scene was painful, it a really great way.

Poor Sceptical Uncle Marc. He’s been so good through all of this, and Justin’s best sounding board. I know I had a Wise Fairy Gaymother when I was coming out. I’m glad Justin has his very own Wise Fairy Gayfather.

In last night’s Ugly Betty episode, “All the World’s a Stage”, Justin benefited from a Wise Uncle Marc talk on kissing, when Justin announces he “has to” kiss his fabled girl crush.

And both of these actors knocked their parts out of the park. As for the rest of the episode, it might as well have not even happened.

Yes!

Head on over to After Elton, where Michael Jenson posted a recap yesterday.

All in all, I thought the episode handled the topic terrifically well and I appreciate that while the story isn’t about unaccepting parents or homophobic classmates, it still addresses the fact that even in 2010, accepting one’s sexual orientation isn’t just a walk in the park. Adolescence and young love is scary for anyone, but it’s still often doubly so for gay and bisexual men.
from AfterElton

I am going to miss this show in a really shocking way when it ends. And I am kind of living for the scene where Marc finds out.

Oh and when Ugly Betty ends, I can haz spinoff?

If you’re going to miss Ugly Betty like I am, join the facebook group and sign the petition to Save Ugly Betty!