Big Gay Closet

It occurs to me that I’ve never come out over the phone. It makes sense, because I hate talking on the phone. It’s an inconvenient social phobia for someone who has friends and family on several continents, but there’s something about talking on the phone that drives me crazy.

I think it requires more attention than any other means of distance communication. With Instant Messaging, you don’t have to give your undivided attention to have a good conversation. Nor do you have to with email, or text. In real life you have to, but the person is right there in front of you, and their attention is likely to be diverted by the same things that distract you.

But the telephone? They can usually tell when I’ve been distracted by something else but they have no idea why. And if I’ve managed to disguise my lapse in concentration, I’ve still missed what was said, and the telephone doesn’t afford me the luxury of a re-read.

So I’ve never come out over the phone. I have, however, come out by email, IM, Facebook, by letter, and in person.

How many ways have you come out?

It’s chaos! Volcanic ash has stopped flights all over northern Europe. Amazing. I mean, it’s gotta suck for people with plans, but it’s pretty incredible from a bystander’s perspective. The power of nature again.

Still, the Big Gay Closet keeps on keeping on.Takes more than an unpronounceable Icelandic volcano to shut us down.

I started the week with a confessional of sorts. I told the story of the first time I understood the attraction to butch women in “I like women who look like women“.

Then, Rufus Wainright went nuts and outed 50 cent as gay.

Following that, Christian singer Jennifer Knapp came out in matching interviews with The Advocate and Christianity Today… just before the release of her new (mainstream) album. All cynicism aside, I think it’s an important story.

Then — in a story I couldn’t resist sharing here — writer Tanner Stransky wrote that the now-cancelled show Ugly Betty helped him come out.

Later in the week, I went on the local radio station to talk about being gay and living in the middle of nowhere. It was a total mess, but a personal victory, so yay!

And finally, a Facebook user I tracked down and harassed shared her story of coming out on Facebook as bisexual. Really great story, and it’s been hugely popular with you guys. It was nice of her to share her story and not tell me to get lost!

As another week begins, I need more stories. Expect harassment.

I remember the first moment I felt attracted to a girl. I was 11 and it was changing time after a rather hard session of P.E. (Sports to anyone unfamiliar with the term!).

It was an age when girls feel very self-conscious, and I was mortified to be in the situation because I’d never really been in a position where I’d be in a changing room of girls and with showers afterwards. As I was getting undressed I turned around and saw my classmate completely stark naked. Even now the image sticks in my head. This classmate in particular was a gymnast, petite with a perfect body.

I was struck by two things. 1. I hated my own body and I never ever wanted to be like that in front of her. 2. She was beautiful. I had never seen a naked woman before (in the flesh anyway) and I was rather taken by the beauty of a girl’s figure.

I decided that day I would grow up to be a lesbian.

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