Why labels?
In response to this post (a quote from Annalee Newitz‘s “Tranny Chasers”) I had a tweet asking me was I not sick of all the bitching and infighting over labels?
My answer? Yes. Bitching and infighting get old very quickly.
I am, however, not finished with discussion. Identity is important. Discussion of identity, I think, keeps us from becoming too complacent, and possibly forgetting the whole point. I don’t want to use labels to target or exclude, but to understand (and most importantly, tags are a really easy way to get around the blog).
Personally, my identity continues to evolve. I identify most comfortably as queer, but more commonly as lesbian, since the word queer can still be upsetting to people (and my identity shouldn’t upset those people, although I have no problem with it upsetting some). I use the word “gay” a lot too, as a catch-all, because it’s small and portable and you all know what I mean.
I don’t know where it comes from, but my old professor used to say the point of preaching was to “comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.” While I no longer have any intentions to stand behind a pulpit, that mission statement sits really easily with me.
So labels… yea or nay?
(I contemplated a poll, but I’d rather a discussion)
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I’ve always had a strong desire to make things very clear cut, neat, and tidy. This desire has never spilled over into any sort of functionality in my life–save for the very meticulous care I take when I dress in the morning.
The same desire definitely spilled over into my stress and anxiety about my sexuality when I finally realized that I couldn’t ignore the fact that I am attracted to women. I didn’t “believe” one could be bisexual. It was just stingy! And when I finally came around to it, it didn’t quite fit. I am more comfortable identifying as lesbian, and people in the South (where I lived most of my life up until this year) were more comfortable with that as well. But there were those men that I was still attracted to… Then there was moving to the Midwest and people being uncomfortable with those messy boundaries I keep even with the identification. And all in all…I’ve come to the fact that sexuality, like many things is so fluid that it more often than not escapes the boundaries labels place on it.
Yeah…labels. I think they are important; we’re always trying to capture things with language, and as such, language is always evolving to try to better accommodate the things that don’t want to be so easily captured. It’s a cultural process. And these labels hold varying shades of meaning for people both inside and outside of the discourse groups that wield them. But part of that process is transcending them, defying them, rising above them. Language, like sexuality, isn’t neat either.
So, I think it’s important to remember that an actual term doesn’t always encompass the complexities of what it is trying to define…and that it’s okay to not completely fit into one box or another…that they aren’t really boxes…but overlapping systems, if that makes any kind of sense.
ak
22 Apr 10 at 16:37
Language is important – language=communication. And “labels” is just another word for language, albeit a word with negative connotations – which kind of just proves my point. We need to find, or create, the language that most accurately conveys what it is we mean to say.
Example: I identified as bisexual for awhile. “Bisexual” comes with its own connotations – among them, “promiscuous,” and the implication that there are only two genders. This was before I’d given thought to the shades of gray between “male” and “female.” Once I discovered the term “pansexual,” and let it percolate for a couple years, I decided that it was more accurate because it describes an attraction to human beings. However, if androgyny didn’t get me hot and bothered, I might still use the term “bisexual,” despite my acknowledgment of multiple genders; if only 2 of those genders were interesting to me, I would indeed be bisexual.
Another difficult, loaded term is “feminist.” First of all, it means exactly opposite things to different people; second of all, to many people it has a connotation of anger, intolerance, and “reverse sexism.” While these connotations may be inaccurate, they are a factor in whether or not people choose to identify with a given label.
I prefer the term “gender activist” for the same reason many people prefer the term “queer”: it’s broader. Gender activism includes feminism; it’s anti-sexism, anti-homophobia, anti-transphobia, and pro- every gender. It’s a term that has yet to catch on with the same popularity as “queer,” but I feel like when I say “gender activist,” with a 1- to 2-sentence explanation, people know exactly what I mean – which doesn’t necessarily happen with “feminist.”
Honestly, in many cases I feel that the person who says “I just don’t believe in labels” simply hasn’t found the one that works for them – in which case, making up your own is always an option. Your sexuality is your business, and how much of that you wish to communicate is your decision. However, if communication is your goal, you’ll have to find accurate language for your identity at some point.
Mariah
22 Apr 10 at 17:08
I dislike labels, because life is so fluid. But I cannot help but label things–and people–anyway. No matter how well read I am on the subject, despite how often my own personal label changes, labels are always going to be a part of who I am and how I classify the world around me.
A label becomes an identity. It’s what people subconsciously think about you in the back of their mind, it’s how you categorize. I know people who are so incredibly against labels, that their label-less rebellion becomes their label.
I’m unsure if labels are a bad thing, but I do believe they’re is little point in fighting over them when they are inevitable.
And I believe everyone should keep something in mind: Yes, labels easily become identities. But identities can change, so try not to cling. The issue may not even matter in ten years.
throughnarrowdoorways
22 Apr 10 at 20:17
I hate when labels limit people. I hate when people think I can’t do X because I’m Y. But at the same time, not giving something a name is a way to ignore it. If we can’t put words to something, how can we express it? Think about how some languages have so many words to express all the nuances of things that are important in that culture. But if a concept is not important or relevant to a culture, that language will not have many words to express it. I think we need more words to describe the all the subtle nuances of sexuality, and that includes more words for straight people too. I hate describing my pro-queer het friends with the terms used for mainstream straight people. Language is very political. Language controls how we think about and express ideas. While I’m a don’t-fence-me-in kinda girl, without precise language, we don’t have the tools we need to build understanding for ourselves on a personal level or in the broader community. Think about how frustrating it can be to try to express yourself in a second language. We need labels, words, terminology to describe and analyze ourselves and our experiences. The choice of the word label is political; it carries a judgment. Products are labeled. People are described.
ottokitty
22 Apr 10 at 21:28
“Products are labeled. People are described.” – that’s a fantastic way of summing it up for me, too!
I have a love-hate relationship with labels, too. I see their importance but I refuse to be limited by them. And I also can’t understand why people become upset by how OTHERS label themselves. Why should anyone have a problem with me calling myself “queer”, if I feel that’s what best describes me? But..yeah, that’s just me.
outoutout
23 Apr 10 at 02:22
Can I just say quickly how much I love how smart and expressive you guys are?
CanuckJacq
23 Apr 10 at 10:38
I like your point about the word bisexual — I had never thought of how it implies the binary gender choice.
And “gender activist” is an excellent label.
Sorry it took so long for your comment to appear, for some reason it got caught in the spam filter.
CanuckJacq
24 Apr 10 at 22:46
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14 May 10 at 22:43
I hate labels I don’t want to be locked in any little “box” I just want to be myself whilst I Identify more with bi than gay, were I live bi isn’t taken seriously its a term used mainly with party girls that do “things” with girls to get guys attention and nothing more or just someone that plays around with girls once in awhile, were as I want a serious committed relationship with a female but also have some (small) lingering interest in males as well.
pokeingheadoutofcloset
18 Oct 10 at 19:47